October 8, 2013

• drama

  came home from school, ate, and finished my drama. from episode 5 to 16. FAWK. it's almost 3am. i held my pee for like 4 hrs cuz i didn't wanna leave the screen and like the episode-ending cliffhangers were toooooooooooo good.

  and, this is an older drama that my friend introduced called Money's Warfare (from like '07). I really needa stop watching dramas lol. But this one was about money, distracting from the typical love-triangle. But I kinda wanna finish Master's Sun (Sam's drama) just cuz of the ghosts. And also cuz money was involved too. Interesting. But I swear each episode... does everyone die in a car accident?! wtf. lol.

  makes me sorta wanna move my butt.

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  i'm isolating myself from classmates. i feel bad. most of my classmates (in my level) work right after school till 10pm or midnight. And, I mean, like, 80-90% of them. Older Korean friends are looking for jobs and trying to get into the career mode of their lives.

  I feel lost sometimes, guys. Maybe cuz I'm not earning money? Maybe cuz I have my degree by the neck? Cuz I don't know what to do next? Cuz things are still never the way I imagined them to be yet I get surprised. I guess it's kind of a low for me, but the highest low ever. My lowest low will always be middle school.

  I look up and I see my dreams coming closer and closer. I'm just afraid that I won't be ready. That I'll disappoint myself. That it won't be enough. That I would be enough. After all these years, I haven't gathered enough confidence and am getting more cautious instead of just ramming ahead like I always imagined doing.

  Oh well, just 2 months ago I had troubles getting into the school. The beginning was great. New start, new place, new 'friends'. Guess the honeymoon stage is over and it's time to plan so that I can enjoy the ride while the engine is still running .

  자신이 없어. 찾아야 되.

  • 6:01 pm
  • 1 Comment