December 14, 2013

  • travel bug biting so hard

    New Zealand wineries.
    I honestly just wanna work for a year and stack money somehow. Maybe I can do this. I feel guilty that i have no plans for Europe or Africa though, lol. I’ve just been on the Pacific. …
    Taiwan Huayu Scholarship (They give $850/month too) to learn Chinese. I really wanna experience Chinese New Years here!! Maybe I can ask my friend i made in Taiwan when I went to visit there last year to help see if I can go there next winter through the university he graduated from.

    ..I have so many languages I want to dip my feet into and so many cultures to experience and so many places to see while I’m young.

    Also, on a random not. I’ve been looking for a “purpose”. A need to come back to California later on. Also, my “manhood” feels bad that I didn’t do anything “important” or “noble.”

    This looks interesting: being a wildland firefighter. I mean, it sounds like something for me in my late 20′s, early thirties. No? If I’m crazy strong by that time. But it sounds so adventurous! omg. you’re not standing around all the time behind a factory, or behind a desk. Not getting shot at by an enemy or a pawn by the government. Just you vs nature. woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. lol.

    I kinda also wanna experience a lil of “monk” / monestary life. sounds real enlightening.

    Also, if I’d work in another Asian country other than Korea, it might be Vietnam, lol. LAND OF PHO AND VIETNAMESE SANDWICHES. I feel bad that I’m hella not including Japan in but, maybe Julius can cover that base. I can only see Japan as a vacation spot now and not somewhere I’d want to live. (ski resorts, food, onsen/hot springs).


    P.S. I told my mom I’d learn Tagalog and her side’s dialect. @_@.

  • i’m punishing myself

    for being hella slow with my degree. for not learning enough korean. being unrealistic about units.

    but, we’ll see what i can do. even if i can get 2/3 of it done by then would be a huge accomplishment. as long as i finish.

    it would be nice for me to find a part-time job. adrian told me about hillcrest bart. u think it’ll be finished by march? my brother FINALLY has his driver’s license. he’s graduating next year. YOU’RE ALL OLD.

    i wanna try taking korean classes at UC berkeley (if they still have that community college unit thing where i can just take classes as a community college student).

    there’s hella people living at my mom’s house now. can i have permission to sleep at ur guys’ houses here and there? freakin, i’ma go crazy the first week lmao.

October 22, 2013

  • finally

    life’s getting better. but is more challenging. just gotta look forward and stick to the plans.

    one thing I learned in life is that a bad memory will be a bad memory. it can be forgotten. even though we struggle, even though we go through moments of our life alone, it will pass.

    i remember failing chem honors. i remember failing chem cp. fuck high school, life sucked. i remember even thinking about suicide (though short). I remember going crazy. running away to geron’s. i remember visiting some senior teachers and my mom guiding me to graduate despite my defection. all the shit i put myself through. all the shit i put her through. all the shit she put me through.

    it’s only gotten better since then. it’s just a bad memory.

    reading politics. one concern of mine is… what happens if the world has no currency? can we continue to barter? will we go back into the dark ages only ten times worse? the only reason we’re still here i cuz of technology. technology keeps people alive. it lets the government ‘print’ digital money so mask us from the real hyperinflation that has been happening for decades. it lets us escape.

    what keeps an economy going? what private sector jobs are being kept?

    my concern is the government’s tentacles. is it okay that they have so much in citizen’s lives? is it unavoidable? i continue to exist cuz of the student loans i get, and even i was employed by the federal government (of south korea though).

    my mom is a recipient of the government’s funds, indirectly via the healthcare system cuz of all the patients that are in her work.

    many of my friends will be in the same situation. indirect funding via the fed through medical care for their careers.
    other friends are in the military.

    otherwise, those in the arts are left to fend for themselves. but, what about business?

    i guess some families have businesses. but it seems like they’re mostly in the escape business.

    entertainment, food, partying.


    i guess that the government and society can’t be separated if order is to be maintained. china always had hella students studying to be an offical at the emporer’s palace. people always blame the government (whether it be monarchy, democracy, dictatorship, republic, mixed).

    i learned that money is debt. that we haven’t paid back debt from world war I. wtf is this weird world we live in?

October 8, 2013

  • drama

    came home from school, ate, and finished my drama. from episode 5 to 16. FAWK. it’s almost 3am. i held my pee for like 4 hrs cuz i didn’t wanna leave the screen and like the episode-ending cliffhangers were toooooooooooo good.

    and, this is an older drama that my friend introduced called Money’s Warfare (from like ’07). I really needa stop watching dramas lol. But this one was about money, distracting from the typical love-triangle. But I kinda wanna finish Master’s Sun (Sam’s drama) just cuz of the ghosts. And also cuz money was involved too. Interesting. But I swear each episode… does everyone die in a car accident?! wtf. lol.

    makes me sorta wanna move my butt.


    i’m isolating myself from classmates. i feel bad. most of my classmates (in my level) work right after school till 10pm or midnight. And, I mean, like, 80-90% of them. Older Korean friends are looking for jobs and trying to get into the career mode of their lives.

    I feel lost sometimes, guys. Maybe cuz I’m not earning money? Maybe cuz I have my degree by the neck? Cuz I don’t know what to do next? Cuz things are still never the way I imagined them to be yet I get surprised. I guess it’s kind of a low for me, but the highest low ever. My lowest low will always be middle school.

    I look up and I see my dreams coming closer and closer. I’m just afraid that I won’t be ready. That I’ll disappoint myself. That it won’t be enough. That I would be enough. After all these years, I haven’t gathered enough confidence and am getting more cautious instead of just ramming ahead like I always imagined doing.

    Oh well, just 2 months ago I had troubles getting into the school. The beginning was great. New start, new place, new ‘friends’. Guess the honeymoon stage is over and it’s time to plan so that I can enjoy the ride while the engine is still running :P .

    자신이 없어. 찾아야 되.

September 29, 2013

  • so if we’re all impported..

    does that mean i can see everyone’s old private blogs?!!!!!!!

    that sounds invasive LOL.

    so i went to a friend’s bday dinner and stuff. and i had a b52 shot. damn. that’s good.

    then went to monkey beach (a club in itaewon). there’s a pole for girls to clumb up and ring a bell and if they ring it, they get a bottle.

    anyway, they didn’t have cup cocktails, only buckets. so i got to try a blue sapphire and i got a midori sour bucket. then a friend towards the end got a gin and tonic and there was like 8 shots of i don’t even know what. but, man, i was ready to tank and my stomach was aching.

    but we went to a pojangmacha place (thing asian-drama-tent-barbeque) but in a building and ugh was hella ready to fall asleep. WHY DID WE GET FOOD. oh well, i guess the hot soup helped my stomach.


    i really need to study.
    I’ve been watching the drama Master’s Sun. It’s got the typical asian drama rich snobby guy / kinda bad good guy and main hardworking-something-interfering-with-life-i’m-poor storyline.. but she it has ghosts. so, i’m entertained and touched by these stories. those scary ghost faces (when the ghost is angry/appears for the first time b4 they have a sorta normal face but sometimes they have gashes and shit) is hellllla creepy. it’s so awesome!

    damnit Korea, how did you find a way to present drama love story in such an awesome way?

    Maybe it’s based on a manhwa/manga. dunno lol.

July 9, 2013

  • losing attraction

    To asians. I find asians appealing. Though, more and more, I feel like they’re just like family. Maybe I just want a change, something different. There’s always gonna be a cultural difference if they’re non-asian. Something always new to learn about the other person. I feel like i might end up with someone black or white. (Or both~!). That’s just me, lol. Will I be closing up my asian pop culture phase? I feel like it’s already happening. Care less about dramas. Still into kpop but, iono. We’ll see. :P

July 6, 2013

  • with a car again

    Having the car here makes me realize again why owning things costs time and money. Been driving to much. Maybe i should take a break. Man. Two incheon. And i feel as tired. Also, my cd player doesn’t work right :/. And i’m late again to work LOL.. at least, this saturday.

    But still, i like that i can be spontaneous and leave any time. But it’s like antioch with a small concord next door. Can’t wait to move!

    But damn, having to pay toll and traffic. Good thing I can switch between the two. But I just enjoy driving so much here cuz i was deprived for so long. I gotta restrain or else I’ll get tired of it again. But, I do enjoy the late night beach drives. Totally living the dream.

    Can’t wait to drive to anielle’s! It’s so much faster than taking buses. (At least, that’s what the gps on my phone says).

June 28, 2013

  • overextending non-existing schedule, money + transition

    buying a car. i can’t take it anymore. i despise public transportation. gas is expensive. but i just want a day or two or three of commuting by myself. i miss my car. I miss not having to wait for stopovers. i miss being to leave whenever the hell i want.

    with my car, i’ll be sure to appreciate the economical prices of taking the bus in korea. but i want both. GODDAMIT I WANT MY ROAD TRIPS lol. 
    and, i’m broke. i’m asking my mom for 6k LOL. the car is costing me around 2k…
     cuz the car is around 2k and the insurance is like 300bucks for 3 months-ish. (cheaper if I paid all at once for a year but, i don’t have the funds for :P atm.. only enough for the car and stuff)…
    2.5k – dorms (it includes 180 meals i believe).. last me 6 months
    2.5k – tuition for university (unlimited classes)
    1k – help me to survive for a month or two in korea
    ..until the money rains.
    i get my flight reimbursement around 1.3k and my paycheck.. around 1.5k .. so just around 2.5k usd next month.
    my friend owes me 1k.
    i’ll have around 3.5k or 4k, depending how much i have left in my bank account.
    but like, 2.5k goes to the university for the korean language program tuition. so i only have like 1k left -__-;; .. which my friend hasn’t even paid back yet. (non of u guys, a friend here), cuz she’s tight on money.
    damnit car! but i spent a month and a half obsessing over it and wasting time. i just want it done and out of the way!!! I remember getting my tiburon, all those months of dying on the inside for my own new car.
    now i can finally have a car. it’s kinda ugly. daewoo rezzo. u can google it. it looks like an egg. but the fuel is real cheap (For korea).. probably $4/$5 per gallon of LPG (liquid petroleum gas)… propane. gasoline is like $8/gallon-ish here. it’s in liters. not gallons lawlllllllllllllllllll.
    but i mean, korea is small. they don’t drive that far during the week. but still, at least i bring it back down to california gas prices with an LPG car. it’s only like a $1/liter~ish. 
    i think the car will give me more of a life & freedom. 
    so.. money will probably rain the end of july. i hate when money fluctuates with transitions and stuff.
    g*dammit, i have to go to the embassy and extend my visa. twice. -___________-;; 
    money.. accounts…investments..
    for the long-term, i’ve been opening accounts.
    got like a credit union and a regular bank account. i’ma open a brokerage account w/ a linked checking in the future. fidelity and charles schwab have unlimited free atm withdrawals from any atm worldwide and free incoming transfers. I wish they’d have free domestic wire transfers so i can wire money to u guys or others that need money :P . oh well, i still have my wells fargo account to do that. 
    hopefully by the time i’m 25, i’m done with school, almost done paying off all my debt, and starting to fund a retirement account while trying on some businesses here and there.
    right now it’s school & drinking LOL. I see people in their late- 20′s slowing down and wanting to get married so, i don’t needa worry about overly accessive drinking in the future. But I have to crack down on my hanging out.
    there’s nothing to do here. if i say i’m busy, it’s a lie! lol..once i move to the city, i can become fully korean and say that i’m always busy! My only party day will be friday night. I’ll be too busy during the week for Korean & finishing my degree. I’m pushing for staying in the dorms so I can focus more. If I live alone, I don’t get ANY shit done AT ALL. Too easy to slack! I don’t trust myself, lol.
    I’ll have easy access to the library, a built in gym, and Korean friends to practice Korean. Plus those meals, I can be lazy and not spend so much on food. I can just have a shake and kimbap/omelettes and that one mail meal from the cafeteria cuz i don’t have space to store food. 

    I was so lucky with my fridge here, lollll. full size. lots of other TaLK people have like college-sized mini fridges. o_O;;

    Friday is apparently always Anielle’s party day. lol i mean drinking day. I don’t get why she doesn’t Xanga anymore. She’s having helluva better time in her first 6months than I did!! Freakin she’s only a train away from Daegu or Busan! SCREW THE SEOUL PERSPECTIVE! lol…  I’M SO FUCKING JEALOUS. LoL. AND she has the peace and quiet of a rural surrounding. WTF MAN. GET ME OUTTA HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

June 26, 2013

  • sentimental /life changing events

    freaking out and happy but..more of freaking out cuz i only have a month left and i will be moving. Working on the paperwork.

    It’s been a long journey. I dunno what to say. I feel unprepared for what’s next. Lol. Fawkkk real life after degree.

    Fawkkk, what if my dreams dont come out the way i want them too? Oh well. That always happens, no? :P

June 23, 2013

  • dating

    I’ve been hearing things about Korean girls here lol. It makes me to not wanna go out with them. Especially for the huge push for marriage once they reach a certain age. Maybe if theyre foreigner-enough. For gyopo (oversees korean). ㅠㅠ but i like speaking korean. Will this just be a phase too? Like other things?