Uncategorized

  • hawaii

    Jan Jan is forever on my mind cuz i worry about his future. Of course I worry about my family.

    So, I texted his mom asked if she'd let him go to Hawaii if I was there too. I said I don't mind and university of hawaii has korean classes nd that i still need to finish my degree. (Fawqking degree)! She agreed so I hope he says yes and is gonna do it. I wouldn't mind spending time in Hawaii either LAWL.

    but if this does happen, and it happens in fall.. i'm gonna miss korea soooooooo bad. if he was able to transfer next fall okay, kewl. but i would rather him do it this fall. but i dunno. lawl. Up to him. but i don't wanna apply for the university here to learn korean when i can chill in hawaii and focus on finishing my degree. LawL.

    Well, we'll see :P . but my visa ends at the beginning of august. hopefully he can transfer or convinces them to go to community college in hawaii or something. >_<.

  • the only thing standing between me and a successful life is my efforts in learning the Korean language. Other than that, it's all networking and making friends.

    UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

    All I have to do is freaking eat vocab like no tomorrow. I could be a translator. Intern at a film company(like that craigslist ad), be an intern at a firm. OMFG. LIMITLESS OPPORTUNITIES. -cry-

    must.. push.. on..

  • urgh reality

    don't think i can realistically pass for that test to get my visa. i got bitched slapped in the face by reality. even if i did know half the vocab, i didn't anticipate the questions with idioms and stuff. But I'm still showing up for the test. Even if I don't answer the essay question. lol.

    a tutor told me she found info on the test from a foreigner who has been here like 10 years & it took him like a while -aka forever- to pass the test.

    SO...

    I found an internship position on craiglist.

    http://seoul.craigslist.co.kr/tfr/3734318456.html.

    I honestly don't wanna teach again. I can't find jobs for translation, but this internship sounds so awesome! If they promise a visa that I can later convert to an F-2-S visa, then sweet.

    It looks like it's in the film industry, yay! I just cram REAL korean (not this test stuff) and like, work on presenting myself.

    Recklessly chasing opportunities & ways out? Yeah, that's me.

  • D:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0q_VGacfNk

    a video about people who died from the porn industry. (though, i don't agree with posting the one that died from an asthma attack or like a heart condition) but wowz. oh well, i'm watching less and less porn anyway cuz i like the real thing LOL

  • ugh

    barely been studying for that freaking test i signed up for. but it's forcing me to move forward with Korean.

    OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF. HOLD MYSELF TO HIGH STANDARDS THAT I CAN'T FULFILL.
    Oh well, guess it makes me move up, no matter what.. rather than staying on the same level. 

    I mean, I'm not like, intellectually smart so.. how do i survive? :/

    -------------------------
    gotta keep going up the steps. i'll look back down when i make it far enough.
    life isn't always comfortable. how am I supposed to grow and learn?
    -------------------------------
    omg i can't take long periods with these kids! I actually miss my 40 minute lessons. (cuz i have double periods on the weekends). you appreciate things the higher you go up. things that used to annoy you and that were frustrating becomes easy.

    i'm at the like 3/4s up. can't look down yet.

    FAWKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
    ----------------------
    and the kids! it's true, like, you really feel like a baby sitter a lot of the time! jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
    so not looking forward to teaching young kids after this, for a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnng tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee. 
    i probably won't mind tutoring older kids but seriously. and i know i'm gonna miss them but i mean, i realize i'm not a good esl teacher to these kids (since i barely speak korean).. and that though i raised my tolerance levels, i know why kids get yelled at now =P.

    i don't hold their behavior against them like.. i don't take it personally but my stress levels with them.. UGH.

    ---------------
    i haven't been working out really. i think that's what i need to do more. if I don't, i'm just gonna get all evil and annoyed.
    on a side note, we made mac nd cheese this weekend. good thing they enjoyed it. i mean, i can't force english down their throats. 
    -------------------------------
    i worry about them. like they're my siblings. i feel like i got too close cuz lol.. they treat me like a friend and mess around too much. i feel unprofessional a lot of the time. i'm so not ready to be a real teacher.
    but it's a good experience cuz like, two years at a job? i remember it was soooooooooooo hard the first six months. and the same with the last six months LOL. 

    i mean, kids are kids but dang. it takes way more energy to entertain / teach & prepare. just caring isn't good enough. just showing up isn't good enough.

    guess that's life.
    .
    ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    the good kids go bad and the bad kids go good. and then it cycles back and forth. omfg. lol.
    just gotta get past my test and focus on the kids more and sign up for summer / fall classes online and finish my FREAKIN DEGREE SO I CAN BE FREEEEEE! I'm tired of holding myself mentally captive. 
    just.. that test. :'(
    if everything fails, i can just run away back to the states, to philippines, just gotta finish that degree and i can just figure shit out from then. one step at at a time. i can always teach again in a different country w/ different kids nd older kids. 
    at least I have a back-up "career" / job lined up w/ the experience i got and the people I've met. I won't go hungry or bored. LoL. if I get desperate, I can go to saudi arabia and make over $3,000 / month w/ free housing & transportation, after i get teaching accreditaton & experience from the states .. should I ever need to. as long as i have internet, i can stay sane.
    beats working at mcdonalds. gonna rake in that money! gonna live the life I want. gonna be eligible to retire at age 40 / have a stockpile of cash & investments by then. gotta push for the future. i wanna invest in my communities (states, Korea) and my family.

    I worry about Jan Jan. I worry about my brother and his future. I want to travel and hang out w/ my mom. i wanna invest in any businesses my friends wanna open. i wanna have money for when my friends need it. I want to have money stockpiled for when I'm ready to adopt or whatever. 

    I was wondering how orphanages work, maybe i can sponsor one and stuff when i get bank. dunno lol. just wanna make a difference somewhere.
    push guys! we're so much further than where we were 10 years ago! i'm still trying to get past "high school". ugh. maybe that degree and this TaLK experience will finally allow me to move on and become a better adult.

  • blog

    Now!!!

  • LOL.

    so i was punching in a vocab word in korean, "가치관" and semi-naked Korean people popped up. I was like "YES, FINALLY, KOREAN PORN!" jk. 

    Anyway, it's a play or whatever.

    http://blog.joinsmsn.com/media/folderlistslide.asp?uid=hjh1103&folder=115&list_id=11013644

    http://blog.naver.com/PostView.nhn?blogId=piterpan_&logNo=70085166699&redirect=Dlog&widgetTypeCall=true

    it seems like this might be a Korean adaption of a French play. or iono, LOL. I'm hella guessing. Maybe I can find them to help me learn Korean ;D. 
    sigh, if Koreans only did porn. there's a lot of attractive Koreans. 
    anyway.
    우아ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ send me home plz. I don't wanna hwesik. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

    -----------

    Anyway, I'm not greatful for the awesome spacious apartment, cute and energetic kids, and friendly staff that are communicatable in English / teach English pretty good to the kids. On top of the awesome Principals heading the school since I arrive.

    I'm just bored. And not looking for a solution. And stressing over my Korean level / test. And wanting to move on.

  • Youtube videos

    I wanna make segments for youtube vidoes. I dunno what to make videos about.

    Like..

    Food
    Korea
    Articles (politics and stuff)
    Hobbies

    .........
    I kinda liked how eat your kimchi had segments for each day

    I can't think of anything.

    Smoothie Sunday
    Movie Monday
    Tasty Tuseday
    Word Cram Wednesday
    Thankful Thursday
    _________ Friday. (Foodie, Fashionista, Friday Phrases, Freaky Friday, Free Association).

    lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

    Guess I'll just make a video first about questions about me,.

    What should my youtube be called? I'm thinking.. "Forkinchicken". (Fork in chicken).

  • Family and Money

    Talked to my mom earlier. They cut her hours of teaching in half, so she's taking in less money. My brother got a D in Chemistry. (lol, I failed chemistry a lot so, I saw that coming). I'm trying to motivate. I know he won't go to a university right after high school. He doesn't have the drive. SO, I proposed to take him when he finished high school (to wherever I am), and he can do classes online. My mom wants to enroll him in a physical therapy program, but I guess a break with me would be good too. ;P. Honestly, I just want him to learn another language. I don't care about him having a degree. If u have another language, fluently.. on top of pursuing an education, more of the world opens up.

    Maybe we can combine my mom and I's hopes for him. He can take a "break" and be abroad with me and take online classes for a semester. Then he can go do that physical therapy program and work. He can work while going to chool and probably get into the JET program or something in Japan so he can learn Japanese. I just want him to feel motivated to continue school. And being trapped by family with no fun isn't exactly motivating. Maybe he can have a taste of being abroad.

    Anyway, back to my mom. She's stressed with work (more than usual) and she's making less money and the house payments are getting to her. But there's no other house for her sister and other family members to go, so they're at her place.

    I'm telling her to start a business. Like how she did wedding decorations on the side. But she doesn't want to cuz she likes everything perfect her way, and I don't think there's anyway she wants to train people LOL. She isn't giving up on pizza! She wants a brand name!

    Actually, there's a kinda cheap pizza chain in Korea called Pizza School! It's pretty different. I'm thinking it could expand into the states cuz it's kinda cheap like Little Caesar's. It think it would be a perfect franchise to bring over in the future. 

    I'll show you guys some pictures of Pizza School in the future. But pizzas are like $5~12 bucks. (12 is the most expensive). :]. Maybe I can bring a little Korea to the states <3.

  • hmmm

    What i wanted us to be~

    Can't put blame~

    Uncertain ending~

    -----

    Song titles i wanna write but atm, happy songs are playing LAWL. I get inspired when sad ballad-y songs come up.

    2 are about friendships, one is like about sigfig relaionships.

    Lol.

    FAWK, ONE MORE MONTH TILL MY TEST